I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
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We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
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Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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