did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering