Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
