can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i just sent this text using only my big toe
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
