Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
