Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
