I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
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