You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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