i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
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