Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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