My nipple is on Facebook.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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