I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Houston, we have a squirter
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
