there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
