Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
