it hurts more in the daytime
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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