Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
