I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
