She is in my trunk
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
