all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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