Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
