Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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