He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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