Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
