I love black thongs
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
