I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
