Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
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I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
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Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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