Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
