Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
