can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Randomize
