Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize