Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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