But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
