DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Found your dick twin last night
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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