she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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