trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
