Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
