apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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