The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
