I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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