Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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