It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
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