Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize