I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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