I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
where does the pee come out of this thing
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
