haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
