Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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