She's JV to your varsity
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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