Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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