he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Randomize
