Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
