Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins