his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?