you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
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i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
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No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.