Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
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Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
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As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.