Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?