thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
