Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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