dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
