turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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